Can Conor McGregor Rape the Gay Away?

We're no psychiatrists but he does seem intent on trying.

Will nothing stop this alleged anal marauder...? Well, we can think of one thing.

“You’re out over your skis on this one!”

The speaker wasn’t so much a Conor McGregor nut jumper as he was a self-proclaimed “rationalist”. His claim as it was laid out was that a wealthy, famous athlete with a good deal of buzz and social cachet but bad social sense might be a convenient target. For? For all manner of extortion and attempts to pry him away, in some small measure, from the purported $200 million he’s sitting astride.

“These are unforced errors,” I start to say before being interrupted.

“…You use that a lot but here it doesn’t work as it sounds like you’re blaming the victim. I mean is it his [McGregor’s] fault that he keeps finding himself in these bad situations?”

For those who have absolutely no idea what’s being discussed it is very specifically the allegations against combat athlete, mixed martial artist, boxer and erstwhile movie star Conor McGregor. Allegations, plural. As in more than one. In a variety of locales. This all while being engaged to a woman who has mothered three of his children and who, at present, is pregnant with his fourth.

So, he’s having a run of “bad luck”?

There it was. The eternal “hetero” male struggle against not only “the gay” but even the distant possibility of “the gay”…

“Hey. You don’t know WHAT went on in that bathroom,” he says. “You, yourself, have had sexual relations in a bathroom stall!”

“This is not about me.”

“Yes it is! Now what if one of those women claimed it was nonconsensual? How would you defend yourself?”

While I appreciated his Clarence Darrow-esque attempt to draw me to the weeds, the issue remains that under amazingly similar circumstances McGregor is drawing charges for that which we’ve not seen. However, based on what we have seen — dolly attacks on buses, punching old men for not drinking the swill that he’s shilling, smashing phones and my personal fave, dancing on a table in Ibiza with a cardboard cut out of his face on his face (technically not a crime) — he might have what legal experts call “exposure”.

That is, the likelihood of him accruing random charges across a spectrum of behaviors narrows significantly when it comes to sex, leaving him open to legal jeopardy. However, all of the alleged assaults, including the next most recent one of a woman aboard his $3.6 million Lamborghini yacht who had to jump off the 63-foot “Supercar of the Sea” to escape what she claimed was an assault in progress, have trended the same way. A casual meeting that went from 0 to 60 in short order.

But then a Columbo moment: in only one of the cases that have been alleged was the assault carried through to its grisly conclusion. The conclusion here being an anal rape. Of course, no serious time has been served by McGregor for any of these cases. A brick through the window changed the yacht woman’s mind about pursuing legal remedy. Others? Well, cash and amnesia typically go together well. But the two-step is familiar and total disclosure: for holding forth on the quasi-ignored nature of McGregor’s malfeasance, I have been threatened by members of his gym who have invited me over for a “friendly” talking to.

My response? “I’ll be glad to. And black belt or not if you think beating me up is going to solve McGregor’s problems with sexual assault well I’m willing to have you try.”

The reality though is McGregor is toast. From any mainstream perspective. Radioactive in the extreme he can kiss goodbye slots on Fallon, Kimmel, Stern, et al. That lovable, irrepressible Irish cut-up of yore is gone instead replaced by an Irish caricature.

But then a surprising turn and it has to do with McGregor’s very public involvement with a masturbating man. And then the pieces seem to start to feel like they’re slipping into place.

“Don’t send me any more of that shit.” The speaker was one of the reviewers I was running when I was running Mack Avenue SkullGame. SkullGame for short. Call it a cross between Yelp and The Onion. But for porn. About 20 reviewers reviewing movies, sex toys and sex events for over a decade. One reviewer had displayed a penchant for gonzo porn, that is porn with no set-up, no plot, just aggressive rooting. But the business is run by and for sensation addicts and eventually just that wasn’t enough and the videos had gotten rougher. And baser. And my reviewer was tapping out. “If they hate women this much why don’t they just start doing gay porn?”

There it was. The eternal “hetero” male struggle against not only “the gay” but even the distant possibility of “the gay”. Would this explain the drumbeat of assaults and/or the failure to “complete” said assaults?

“You don’t know that!”

[S]omeone like Johnny Depp had multiple female associates serving as character buffers in their belief that he could have done none of whatever it was alleged that he had done, McGregor has drawn amazingly few.

The rationalist’s patience with me was running thin but I couldn’t subscribe to the dodge that unless I was physically in the room, well, I don’t know what “really” happened. I’ve also never seen an American plane dropping bombs in a secret bombing campaign over Laos in 1973 but I guess I know what really happened there.

Likewise, while someone like Johnny Depp had multiple female associates serving as character buffers in their belief that he could have done none of whatever it was alleged that he had done, McGregor has drawn amazingly few. Moreover, men have recently been going to prison on the basis of the preponderance of claims. Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein come to mind.

So how is McGregor different? Well, let’s start with the guy who runs the company that gave him his first big public platform. He was filmed kicking and slapping his wife this past New Year’s Eve. Gonzo, indeed. This Dana White was the same boss who hired domestic abuser Greg Hardy, re-signed Thiago Silva who threatened his wife with a gun, and has said naught about Abdul Razak Alhassan who had been indicted for the alleged rape of two women in 2018.

The shirtless, sun bathing with his shirtless male friends aboard his 63-footer McGregor has found a home amidst and among fellow travelers and he’s as likely to draw sanction over it as Jerry Lee Lewis was to be arrested in the county he called home for actual “suspicious” deaths of his past wives.

And despite the attempts to rehabilitate his image with Netflix specials, his upcoming bow in the Road House remake, his cutting it up with the Miami Heat mascot, who he later hospitalized, the source and foundation of McGregor’s dis-ease has not and, seemingly, will not be addressed. Either professionally (we’re looking at you Ari Emanuel) or personally.

So until then, us fathers of daughters, and brothers of sisters, will be set and left to wondering, “if he hates women this much, why doesn’t he just start consorting with people he doesn’t hate?” Presumably, men?

And while the temptation here will be to blame the messenger, as members of Straight Blast Gym have done, the reality is, is my analysis worse than that which gave birth to my analysis? I’d guess not.

So until something/anything is done?

Hide your kids. Hide your children. Hide your wife. Hide your husband. They raping everybody.